Dangers of Ezzo/Babywise

For those of you who know nothing about Ezzo & Babywise, I would encourage you to check out the links below.

For those of you who are thinking about using the Babywise techniques, I URGE you to do some reading first…Considering that most professionals in the pediatric, breastfeeding and child development communities vehemently oppose Ezzo’s methods, going into this program uneducated on the subject is very unwise.

As you can tell, I do not agree with Ezzo and his techniques. But I also realize that every parent has the right to choose what is best for their children. My main intent with this page and all the information it contains links to, is to educate those who will be educated on the subject. Everyone who already has a strong opinion opposite of mine, feel free to ignore this page & enjoy the rest of the site. You DON’T have to be “AP” to enjoy Fresno Family.

Before going any further, I would like to invite you to read the story of one family’s experience with the Babywise/Preparation for Parenting program…

(why this style of parenting can be dangerous)

24 Replies to “Dangers of Ezzo/Babywise”

  1. My mother and father were huge supporters of Growing Kids Gods way (I’m not sure if they used Babywise) and it was detrimental to my siblings and I. We may have been well behaved at the time (or looked well behaved) but it was only because we feared the physical/emotional abuse our parents would unleash at the recommendation of the Ezzos. We all have struggled with depression as adults and needed therapists to heal. Needless to say my siblings and I don’t speak to my mom (father is deceased) and she is not allowed to have any contact with her grandchildren as she has shown no remorse and still feels this is the way to raise kids. Babywise tends to get the bad rap but the whole philosophy is terrible. I hope that everyone finds this and decides not to use these terrible methods

  2. A friend gave me this book when I was pregnant. I only got a couple of chapters in before I made my husband take it out of the house because it felt so evil. My heart breaks for the families who have been affected by this horrible program and I pray that they find some peace. This book made me go completely in the opposite direction and my now 11-year-old daughter is happy and well-adjusted as I followed my own version of attachment parenting.

    Peace and solace to all who have suffered because of the Ezzos.

  3. The Ezzo program has destroyed my kids’ lives with pervasive attachment disorders. Our quality of life has been completely destroyed. This program is the most evil and destructive child rearing program ever developed. Its author should be in prison for the countless lives he has destroyed including ours. Every day we have to deal with symptoms of extreme attachment disorder caused by the Ezzo program. We are living in hell thanks to Ezzo.

    1. Our family is going through this with our first born as well. I agree with every word you said Mike Anderson. God, I pray he has been stopped. I pray God can redeem our children’s lives in spite of what Satan tried to use for bad. I know God can, and that is my hope and prayer.

    2. My oldest child is now 22 years old. She was unfortunate enough to take the brunt of my rigid parenting style as taught to me by the Ezzo’s and all their minions. My daughter is now in a residential mental health faculty where she will remain for the next couple of months as the result of a suicide attempt. She suffers from attachment issues, depression, and anxiety. It’s turned our family upside down. I’ve been racking my brain as to how she got to this point and now I think I have my answer. She is one of what I would assume are MANY victims of Ezzo’s destructive program. She had reflux as a baby and was constantly throwing up her food. She would cry and cry and cry after I’d put her back down and I would wonder if she’d had enough food due to all the throwing up. My GF coaches convinced me that as long as she was gaining weight, she was fine and that I needed to let her “cry it out”. I did. Looking back, I am horrified. She was hungry!!! Babywise is extremely dangerous. I wish I could turn back the clock and start over. Too late for that. Now, we are picking up the pieces and trying to rebuild what the Ezzo’s destroyed. I pray my daughter is getting the help she needs and I pray that no one has to experience what our family has had to go through. I am heart-broken…..

  4. I wrote a long note on another page about my daughter, son in law and 14 month old grandson. Not only are they doing baby wise but the Ezzos have personally taken my children, they are now teachers and in the Ezzos videos. They take them to their house, wine and dine them and convince them how wonderful they are. They have convinced them about their wonderful family and Baby Wise. I dared to share an article with my son in law and he banned me from his facebook page. I wish that I could gather all of the information that I typed on your other page and place it here. This man and his teachings scare me.
    My grandson is using sign language and my daughter said that this would help him interrupting when adults were talking. Ezzos are using my children because of their education and how good it will appear for them.
    I went on the Baby Wise and Growing Kids Facebook site and politely refuted what the people were saying and I was reprimanded and then blocked. I am really afraid.
    These people are in the Seacoast Church in Mt. Pleasant where they have recruited the children. I tried to speak to the pastor who was on vacation for weeks and the person in the office told me that they could not help me because the Ezzos were not part of their ministry. However, the pastor and his children all use the BW and think it is great. They said that it was none of the church’s business. I said “oh yes, it is! It is the pastor’s position to watch his sheep and there are wolves in the midst”. They said they would call me. That has been 6 weeks. There must be some way to expose these people.
    And yes….they are sitting pretty in a great big house by the water, telling stories about how wonderful their family life is…even thought their own kids do not even speak to them.

    1. The internet is full of info about the dangers of these people and their teachings. Ezzo.info is the most complete. But you are talking about pretty thorough brainwashing…I’m not sure there’s anything you can do, since they won’t listen to reason. Perhaps contact the people at Ezzo.info and see if they can help?

  5. Perhaps someone here can advise me. My daughter and her husband recently adopted a 4 pound premature baby who is now 3 months old. They have been using the Ezzo method so the baby would sleep through the night early and they would get their normal 8 hours sleep. My first indication that something was wrong was when the baby was 3 weeks old. I was severely rebuked for feeding him 20 minutes early in the middle of the night and asked to leave their home the next day. They are now force feeding him 5-6 oz. every 2.5 to 3 hours during the day to make him so full he will sleep longer at night. They are pleased he is now sleeping 8 hours at night and are putting him to bed earlier so he will sleep longer. A week ago he weighed 15 pounds (from 4.5 pounds at birth) and he looks obese. The parents only allow 30 minutes feeding time, propped up on a pillow, then put him in his room and close the door so they won’t hear his cries. The baby doesn’t smile and turns his head away from my daughter when she looks at him. He did smile at me twice after I had been cuddling him for a long time, which my daughter felt was excessive. My fear is that she is not bonding with the baby and doesn’t realize the importance of bonding. She has been brainwashed that child care is mostly rules and discipline and little affection. My daughter does not ask me for advice, ignores the few tidbits I’ve given, and is determined to follow the Ezzo method. I am heartbroken and fearful for this child’s future. I am wondering if it would be proper to contact the case manager at the adoption agency to ask her to assess the baby and speak to the parents about their practices. The adoption process is not final until 6 months. Until then, the adoption agency has guardianship rights to the baby. I think they could do this discreetly and keep confidentiality. I hate interfering, but I keep thinking about this precious child who is suffering. What a nightmare!

  6. Thank you so much for your info. I was just recommended this book to buy and I am so glad I didn’t. How disturbing!! Thank you for your work in putting this all together. Much appreciated! It is clearly not Biblical and destructive..

    1. I’m glad to hear that my article was helpful. So many people support this man and his teachings and it truly is disturbing. It makes absolutely no sense to treat babies like they are animals to be trained, with no consideration of who they are and what they might be trying to communicate with us. I’m glad to see your children were spared from that sort of childhood.

  7. I have been a La Leche League Leader for the past 10 years. LLL has gotten their own reputation for militant breastfeeders. We really are not that way. We just support breastfeeding and a mother’s goals for however how long. Before LLL I was a NICU nurse and throughout my 16 year journey as a nurse, mother and in Bible believing churches I have not understood why anyone with one scruple in their brain fully adopts the Ezzo philosphy. I have seen countless mothers wiht low milk supply and there are basic principles of science to inform and educate these moms. Also, God puts in a natural desire for mother’s to be with and hold their small babies. In the reality of life it is only for a few short months that they desire this. But mohters need their babies and BABIES NEED THEIR MOTHERS. I am not for a child centered home but rather LIFE CHANGES WHEN A BABY ARRIVES. I think mothers of the Bible nursed for a very long time and their children were quite attatched to them . Families were close together, grndparents, aunts sisters etc… this was a fantastic website that has given me lots of good information. Thanks

  8. We read the Ezzo books and listened to the tapes when both of our daughters were born. They are now 14 and 18 and both have attachment disorder, panic disorder, anxiety disorder, and one also has severe depression. This does not run in our family. I am 100% sure that it was caused by following the Ezzo 20-minute rule that says it’s okay to let your baby cry for 20 minutes or longer to teach them not to manipulate the caregivers. This is a sure way to cause an attachment disorder and make sure your baby has extreme anxiety and fears of abandonment when they get older.

    Gary Ezzo is a psychopath who lives to infect others with his own attachment disorder. He lives in a home on the ocean, laughing at all the duped God-loving people who followed his evil parenting methods. Meanwhile, our lives are destroyed to watch our precious daughters try to cope with not being able to attach to people.

    Someone needs to start a class action lawsuit against this evil man and stop him from doing any more harm to babies. His evil, destructive books are still in the hands of naive, gullible parents who desperately want to raise their kids “God’s way”. Unfortunately, this “godly man” is nothing more than a devil disguised as an angel of light.

  9. My 18-year-old daughter has attachment disorder and panic disorder from using the Ezzo parenting methods. The most extremely damaging process was the 20-minute rule. You were supposed to wait 20 minutes to see if your baby would stop crying on its own before you went to check on it,

    I can’t believe how brainwashed I was by authoritarian religion back then to have followed this program. Ezzo is obviously a psychopath who has no empathy or conscience. His training methods are sure to turn out attachment-disordered people just like himself.

    My life is a nightmare because of Gary Ezzo. And he lives in a house on the ocean in serenity, far away from the mass-anguish of parents and family members that he has inflicted on countless souls.

  10. BabyWise is for parents who are more concerned with their own self-indulgence rather than caring and nurturing a new baby. The quickest way to invite Children’s Protective Services to examine your life is to use this program. As a doula I have seen many babies end up in the hospital for failure to thrive and many mothers completely fail at breastfeeding because of this program.

  11. I read the “Raising Kids God’s Way” and “Babywise” books and was aghast. I’m also a conservative Christian. These books paint Christian parenting as quite rigid, with the priorities skewed. That’s not Biblical! Ezzo may have studied theology, but not the Christian theology and Bible I’ve read. Please, don’t think his books are about “Christian” parenting! They are his own warped view. It’s said you can prove anything by taking verses out of context. Christ called us to love, to teach our children how to love. You can’t do that unless you SHOW them love! I shudder each time I hear of parents extolling the supposed virtues of these approaches, and I pray for them and their children.

  12. I think the biggest thing to remember for ANY parent is that if their intuition is telling them to do something differently than what they’re doing at present, then they should probably change! I was reading the letter by the Hseih family and I am just SO concerned for the other families out there who had to deal with a child with “failure to thrive”. I look at my son who, by 11 month, is now shoveling in food left and right w/ his own two hands and the only time we ever see food on the ground is when we indadvertedly put too much on his tray when he decided he was full so he started to play with it… I can’t imagine him not being the voracious eater he is because I wanted him to mind his table manners early on. Please. If he can’t even understand “no” when he does something wrong, how can I expect him to not have his hands all over the place when I’m feeding him?! The only parenting “expert” I listen to in regard to my son is my husband and myself; everyone else, even my mother, can share their “thoughts” but those are all just suggestions to me. It’s a shame new parents aren’t supported enough early on to believe that they themselves are the ultimate expert when it comes to their children.

  13. Well, I have to say after reading your first recommended site of the family’s attempt at bashing the babywise books I am appalled at those parents. In turn, I am appalled at your condoning their actions OR inactions. The parents were obviously stupid and didn’t use their highly educated brains to determine what was going on with their child. Mr. Ezzo’s book told my wife and I that we (the parents) are in charge of our children’s health and well being. It gave us a strong foundation to launch from in order to decipher our child’s cues. NO place did it say don’t feed your baby if YOU ARE SURE it is hungry.

    I will agree with you on one point, ANY parent without common sense (like the highly educated couple you suggest we read) should leave the book alone. Please don’t try it because they will just harm their child.



  14. Thank you for putting this on your website! While I am not a big fan of AP, it is at least backed by qualified professionals! I read babywise before having my first child with no idea of the background of Gary Ezzo because it came so highly recommended on mommy forums and by some coworkers. Four days after my baby was born, he ended up in the hospital severely dehydrated, having gone from 8lbs, 3oz to 6lbs, 10oz. Even after we came home after 5 days in the hospital with my infant, I didn’t make the connection that it was babywise method that was causing these issues and continued with the babywise routine (well, attempting it anyway). After several trips to the doctor for lack of weight gain and breaking down and supplementing with formula because I wasn’t producing enough as well as feeling like an absolute prisoner to the clock, I finally started to question Ezzo’s methods. My husband and I started doing some research and were appalled by what we found out about Ezzo! Had he presented himself honestly, I never would have picked that book up! Needless to say, we threw the book in the garbage and went to demand feeding. After a week of demand feeding, my milk supply increased, my sweet baby started gaining more weight than expected (and I was able to throw out that awful formula that made him miserable), and he started sleeping great! I am still trying to forgive myself for putting my baby through all of that and have since been telling my story in hopes of saving other mothers from putting their babies through the unnatural routines that a completely disqualified individual is so widely convincing people to follow! Listen to your baby, they will let you know what they need and only what they need-breastmilk and love!

    1. Thank you for your comment, WG! Always interesting to hear stories like yours. And baffling how many people follow ANYTHING that Ezzo has to say! The man is so completely unqualified, dishonest and in general seems a very unpleasant person, from everything I’ve read about him. His own children don’t want anything to do with him! That’s very telling, isn’t it? Amazing how just writing a book makes people think you are an “expert.” *shaking head*

  15. I’m not a huge proponent of the Ezzo/Babywise method, but his books have been updated and are more in line with what the AAP says. Also, you forgot to include links about the negatives of AP and the Ferber method. Any and all parenting books have pros and cons, and all parents need to take information and apply that knowledge to what suits THEIR family. Our family uses all 3 methods and it works for us. There just simply no book that can possibly accomodate every family and their lifestyle.

    1. KP, I agree that no one way is right for all parents. But I disagree about Ezzo. I don’t care how much he tweaks his books, he’s NOT qualified to be considered an expert in anything but theology…which is where his education lies. He is responsible for hundreds, perhaps thousands of babies suffering…and I can personally never get past that and would never in a million years support him by purchasing any of his garbage. The only things you can find in his books that are actually worth reading, can be found in much better books written by people actually qualified to be writing about infant care. I urge everyone to read up on this man…a google search turns up MOUNTAINS of info…before giving him a penny of your money.

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