There
is an overwhelming amount of info out there on parenting
your new baby...(on parenting in general!) Unfortunately
not all of it is good. Case in point, one of the most
popular series of books out there, the "What to Expect"
series, has some misinformation about breastfeeding
(which may possibly lead to difficulties in the
breastfeeding relationship and supply issues if
followed) and also other things here and there I
personally disagree with vehemently.
Side note: I also would recommend to anyone to
stay FAR FAR AWAY from anything by Gary Ezzo ("On
Becoming Babywise"/Childwise/etc, and the "Growing
Kids Gods Way" Christian "Parenting" classes) ...
Ezzo's approach has actually led to an alarming
number of "failure to thrive" babies and so much of
his information on infant care and feeding goes
against medical advice (not to mention the fact that
the man is NOT qualified to be making the claims he
does...he has no medical degree or child development
background at all.) There is huge controversy
surrounding this man and the methods he teaches, so
PLEASE read my
Ezzo
page before ever considering reading anything by
Gary Ezzo!
As
a new parent, or the parent of a new baby (first or
fifth)...YOU have to decide what is
right for you and your family. So I won't go into a
whole lot of my personal thoughts on raising babies
because I have some very non-mainstream beliefs and this
could go on for pages! I'll just give you references to
check out that I personally recommend.
So, as always, I highly recommend educating
yourself! But hand-in-hand with education must
be following your heart. If you read in
a book or website that you should do such and such with
your baby, but it just doesn't feel right to you, don't
do it! If someone has told you you should do such and
such with your baby (and you'll get this a lot! Most new
parents do!) but your heart tells you otherwise, don't
do it! YOU have to do what's best for YOUR baby! And no
one but you and your baby's daddy can decide what "best"
is.
I
give my opinions all over this site, because, well, it's
my site!! LOL! (laugh out loud) But I will quote Dr.
Phil here: "I don't expect you to substitute my
judgement for your own." (By the way, I love Dr. Phil,
but I don't agree with a large percentage of his
parenting advice...I much prefer his relationship
advice...but that's my opinion.)
If
you want to know about my own parenting style, check out
my
attachment parenting (AP) pages here...there's a lot
of info there! We also have a VERY large, very active
local AP mommy group, so
email
me
if you are at all interested in checking us out. Many a
new mom has joined us in relief that there are others
here locally that share a similar parenting philosophy
to her own...we all need this. Mommies need mommies. But
we need to surround ourselves with like-minded
mommies. So if the AP philosophy does not click with
yours, check out my
Playgroups/Mommies' groups page for a big selection
of local groups where one of them is bound to be a fit
for you.
One of my biggest tips for new
moms: I highly recommend to all moms, of
all parenting styles and lifestyles...Find
local mommies or a local mommy group that you can feel
at home with. One which enriches your
parenting style by surrounding you with like-minded,
supportive mommies whom you can learn from and can learn
from you...and where you can develop deep friendships,
which we all need. Do not allow
yourself to be sucked in by negative comments and
judgemental attitudes that do not make you feel 100%
supported and cared for! This is all too common among us
women, judging each other. If you find yourself in a
group which does not give you a "safe place to fall",
and make you feel loved and cared for and
SUPPORTED...move on!
You may find that you may have to completely switch
friends! That's ok! As we become parents, our priorities
change...we often find that the people in our lives that
were our closest friends before we had children become
the people that are the most critical and judgemental of
us afterwards...If you find this to be true in your
life, the answer is simple: DROP those people from your
life! (or at least limit your exposure to
them)...Parenthood is hard enough, you don't need toxic
people making your life a living hell.
We're all learning this as we go...One of the best ways
to learn is by being around others! Read the books and
websites, but also get out there and make some mommy
friends! Your baby will also benefit from the social
life, but more importantly it fulfills that need for a
community that most of us women have. I can't emphasize
enough how crucial this is to your parenting. Build your
community around you of people that you enjoy being
around and enrich you and your baby's life. You won't
regret it.
And what about dads? Of
course dads need support as well...and here's a local
class that might be a good idea to get involved in...its
called "Boot Camp for Dads." Read all about it here.
Another tip for you:
Always remember that babies are babies for such a short
time in the scheme of things. I know it doesn't seem
like it when you are up for your 6th time in the middle
of the nite to change a diaper and nurse a crying
baby...but it really does fly by...so cherish
this time as much as possible, don't rush it!
Unfortunately we live in a culture that is all about
convenience and rush rush rush...sadly, this extends
into our cultural trends in parenting. Independence has
become this all-important thing to strive for in our
babies and children...often long before they are able to
handle it or even should!
Books About Babies & What to DO when Baby is
Here!:
The Breastfeeding Book, by Dr. William Sears
The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your
Baby from Birth to Age Two, by Dr. William Sears
Nighttime Parenting: How to Get Your Baby & Child to
Sleep,
by Dr. William Sears
The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby
Sleep Through the Night, by Elizabeth Pantley
Our Babies, Ourselves: How Biology and Culture Shape the
Way We Parent, by Meredith F. Small
Baby Matters: |
