We
received the keys to our new house at about 1pm on
Thursday, July 24. Of
course we were all very excited and my mom and I wasted
no time in starting to
make the house "ours!" I had been fighting my nesting
instinct for months, since
I knew that we didn't have room at the old house for
another "nursery," and
later that we knew that we would be moving. I took down
the things that had
bugged me as we had looked through the house on numerous
previous occasions, and
then started on shelf papering. I noticed that I was
starting to have
contractions, but figured they were just practice, and
that the baby really was
never going to come! I did start losing some mucus at
that point. My mom though
noticed that I had turned a funny reddish gray color in
my face, and told me
that she thought I was in labor and that she thought I
was in labor and that I
should call Anni. So, I did but told Anni I was only
calling her because my mom
told me too, and I didn't think I was really in labor.
She wanted to meet me at
the old house, and that she would put the birth pool up
and check me to see what
was going on.
Anni arrived with the portable birth pool and set it up.
I thought she had a lot
of faith in my earlier pathetic phone call, and my
contractions that still
didn't hurt. She checked me, and afterwards told me that
she would go sit at a
bookstore and wait for my phone call, so I didn't feel
any pressure to perform.
She reassured me I wouldn't still be pregnant on Sunday!
Seperately Anni told my
mom she thought it would be that night or early the next
morning. In the mean
time, Brandon had gone to softball and I watched "The
Amazing Race," which was
great for taking my mind off of it. Plus, I was excited
because we were either
going to have a baby or move the next day. After
"Amazing Race" Brandon and I
went for a walk because I was determined that these
contractions were going to
stick and be worth something! Anni had told me to go to
bed and get some rest
and I was very apprehensive in doing so because a couple
of nights earlier I had
had contractions and they stopped as soon as I layed
down. I took her advice
anyway, and slept from 10-midnight when I was awakened
by stronger contractions,
thought they didn't really hurt still. I told Brandon at
that point that I was
still having contractions, but let him go back to sleep.
I called Anni and she
said to try and rest more. I called her again at about 2
I think, and she
suggested getting in the hot tub, and that she would be
on her way. I am not a
contraction measurer, but they were getting stronger and
closer together. It was
at this point where I thought maybe I really would give
birth to this baby that
I had given up hope on - not that she was that late,
just that there was so much
that we had been waiting for - and I am not a patient
waiter.
After spending some time in the water, Anni arrived at
about 3am. She lit all
the candles in the living room. It had such an aura
about it. I was definitely
beginning to "hurt." She checked my cervix - I was
dilated to 4 or 5 cm., and
she said much more effaced and soft than when she had
left me at about 7:30pm
the evening before. I was officially in labor. She
called Corey and Sara at that
point. The contractions started piling on in frequency
and in strength. By that
point my mom had realized that something was going on
downstairs. Anni was great
in talking me through the contractions, and until the
last part of labor I
remained fairly calm and quiet which was not the case
the first time. I kept
thinking I didn't want to wake Susannah. Janell and
Corey arrived about 4am, but
I was in a blur by then I really didn't know what was
going on around me. Sara
arrived too. I found leaning on the table, and leaning
on the changing table
most helpful. I tried the all fours but it was never
comfy. Somewhere around
5am, Anni said that my contractions sounded "pushy," and
that I might be good in
the water. I wanted my sports bra for in the water, and
Corey going to find it
was the first that Brandon knew of what was going on. He
came down soon after
being awoken in his own bed by one of his wife's friends
asking where his wife's
black bra was! My mother in law, Anne, arrived too so
that when Susannah woke up
someone would be available for her needs. Susannah woke
up about 5:30am. My mom
and Anne brought her downstairs and talked her through
what was going on. To
start with I was afraid that she was upset, but her eyes
were very big, and she
didn't make a peep the whole time - and never looked or
acted upset.
I
was very unsure of myself pushing this time mainly
because I was so wrapped up
in the fact that last time I was told I couldn't push
even when I felt like I
needed too. So when Anni told me to push without having
checked me, it was so
hard to believe that I was really going to have this
baby. I pushed with all my
might, but felt like nothing was happening. I kept
reaching to feel the baby
coming down, but couldn't feel anything. It was so
frustrating. I felt like my
cervix must really be closed, and that all of this was
for nothing, even though
by this point, it really did hurt like hell. Sara
reminded me to fall asleep
between contractions, and massaged my head and shoulders
the whole time in the
pool. All of a sudden though, progress started
happening. My water broke with a
push. Also, the baby's cord was "sashed" behind the neck
and under one arm so my
pushing wasn't that helpful. The head crowned and all of
that burning sensation
came flooding back. Anni asked me where it hurt, and I
couldn't say anything
because it hurt all over. I couldn't identify any one
particular place. I knew I
was supposed to breathe and not push too hard, but I
wanted it over with all my
might, so I said forget it and pushed hard. The head
came out and then the
shoulders and finally Anni said "Sarah, reach down and
receive your baby!" It
was so exciting to reach down and pick up the bundle.
She didn't look so good at
first, and was kind of motionless, but after being
rubbed she looked more alive.
Her first sounds were not cries, but instead those
familiar newborn grunts and
moans. I was so thankful. It was over, and it was fairly
fast. If I had known it
was going to be that fast, I wouldn't have dreaded it
for 9 months. Susannah
joined me in the pool. It was a very fun family
experience, and I loved doing it
on my terms.
The baby looked a lot like Susannah - dark hair, similar
eyes and body. She was
not as big, and I was able to see the vernix, the
pulsing and non-pulsing cord,
all of which I either don't remember or didn't get to
see the first time. We
decided just a few days before on naming this baby
Abigael Ruby.
Many have asked about how it was to have Susannah at the
birth. She was very
reverent - she was talked through the whole experience,
but was never sad or
clingy which she is any other time when I am hurting or
crying. It was very
powerful to have both my babies there. I do believe more
fully now that birth is
a total family experience, but not necessarily in the
terms we are familiar
with. Brandon feels a lot more connected with this labor
and birth even though
he did not play the typical "coach role" that we often
expect our partners to
play. Susannah saw a raw, unedited birth not some
"cooky" explanation of how
babies are born. So far she has never asked where the
baby came from, or could
we take it back. The only thing she asks regarding the
subject is where the
henna tattooed sun that I had on my belly when she was
born, has gone! I feel it
has totally brought us together closer.
So, Abbey's birth was a totally awesome experience, in
the truest sense of the
word. I have done reading since, trying still to make
sense of birth in our
culture. I more fully understand how instrumental
natural birth is in allowing
women to feel powerful and creative. I trust my body so
much more now. I know it
will work for me... I feel very blessed to have had two
wonderful birth
experiences: for the situations and information that I
have been given and
gathered; the women who I was honored to have support
me; the "normal" husbands
who convinced my husband that you don't have to be
extremist to have a home
birth!! |
