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My
Third Birth, a homebirth
During
my first pregnancy, I was convinced that my body knew
what to do and nothing would stand in the way of that.
I was totally naïve about the obstacles that can come up
in the medicalized birth setting to prevent a natural
birth. After a healthy, relatively easy pregnancy, my
labor was induced nine days past my due date. I wasn’t
near ready to go into labor. I was induced for low
amniotic fluid discovered during a non-stress test.
They estimated my baby to be about 8.5 pounds at that
point. To make a long story short, after 30 hours of
labor and practically every intervention imaginable, I
was able to dilate to 10 cm but could not push out the
baby. A c-section was performed because they baby was
not coming down, appeared to be responding negatively to
the pushing, and I was running a fever. He weighed 10
lbs. 8 oz. They were off by two pounds!! He also had a
very large head (16)… I believe the way it was molded
proves that it he was lodged in at the wrong angle. The
entire thing probably could have been prevented by a
normal non-induced labor in which I was allowed to move
freely. I was in bed for this entire labor. After the
c-section, my OB said that if he had just been a pound
lighter, I could have gotten him out. I was determined
to prove her wrong.
During
my second pregnancy, I was under the care of Kaiser in
Los Angeles, which at the time supported VBACs. I had a
CNM I really liked. I was determined not to be
induced. They were still inducing vbacs back then. I
read many books on the subject of VBAC and joined the
ICAN email support group. As I neared two weeks past my
due date, they were really pressuring me to induce. The
day before they scheduled me, I went into labor. I went
to the hospital too soon. My contractions were close
together, but they spread out after getting there. I
did a lot of walking and stair climbing to try to get
them going again. After 12 hours, I was at 6 cm and
that wasn’t fast enough for them. A horrible
nurse-midwife was on duty through the night and finally
ridiculed me enough that she wore me down and I got the
pitocin again. I was being dealt with as high risk and
I felt like at least with the pitocin I had a shot at no
c-section. I found myself in the same predicament,
hooked up to oxygen and everything else, and wondered
why, at age 25, and a perfectly healthy pregnancy, I was
going through this. I felt like I was on my death bed
and headed for sure for another cesarean. Luckily, I
dilated to 10. They let the epidural wear off so I
could feel to push. I managed to push him out. He was
posterior, which no one had noticed! By then the
midwife I liked was on duty and actually caught my
baby. The worst thing I can remember was being so
thirsty since they would not let me have any water. But
my baby was healthy and apart from the pain from
tearing, my recovery was much better than a c-section.
Spencer weighed 9 lbs 15 oz.
I was
grateful to have succeeded in my vbac, but still felt I
like I didn’t “own” the birth. I didn’t want all the
interventions and drugs. I got lucky because it could
have easily gone the other way. SO…after my terrible
hospital experiences, I decided to have a homebirth the
third time around. I was still on the ican support
group list and was already convinced about the virtues
of homebirth, so I didn’t have to do much research on
that subject. Preparation was mainly finding a midwife,
and figuring out the practical things…like what I needed
to get and how everything was going to go with my other
kids. I found a midwife through a friend who was going
for her first vbac at home. I liked my midwife a lot
and that we shared common views about the problems with
hospital births. I struggled for awhile with the idea
of having a back-up, but eventually ended up with no
back-up. I figured if I had to go to the hospital it
was going to be an emergency anyway most likely. Plus,
I couldn’t find a doctor or cnm to use for back up that
I could be honest with about my intentions to have a
homebirth. I tried one cnm who was a nightmare. So I
went without, and it actually took the stress off of me
because I didn’t have some critical doctor breathing
down my neck. The main reasons I wanted a homebirth
are: during my second labor I seriously considered
leaving the hospital and swore I would never have
another hospital birth again and 2) I felt like I could
end up with another c/s in the hospital because I was
convinced I have naturally long labors and doctors don’t
like those and 3) I was still convinced that my body
knew what to do if people just left me the heck alone
and I wanted to see what that was like.
At
close to two weeks past my due date (this is a pattern
for me) I was starting to get anxious to go into labor.
I felt like I was going to be pregnant forever. And it
was the middle of July in Fresno. I didn’t want to do
anything to “induce”, even herbal. On a Friday, I
started to have some contractions that were more painful
than Braxton Hicks. By Friday night (at El Toro Tambien,
trying to eat spicy food!), I couldn’t talk through my
contractions. Through the night, I continued to
experience contractions that were intense but several
minutes apart. After the sun came up the next day, the
contractions became more sporadic, sometimes a half and
hour apart or more. My boys stayed with my mom while I
tried to relax. Saturday night, contractions picked up
again, and happened steadily through the night. I can
remember lying in bed and trying to relax during the
contractions…and then sleeping between them. They were
probably about five minutes apart, sometimes less and
sometimes more. I got in the shower to deal with the
pain, which seemed to make the contractions slow down
more. By midmorning on Sunday, contractions had stopped
altogether. I was dilated to about 6 centimeters, and
the contractions had totally stopped. I think my
midwife was starting to get a little nervous, but we
decided that since the baby was fine and I was fine
there was no need to do anything but wait. My kids were
still with my parents. We went over and went swimming
with them and brought them home. I had no contractions
that day or night, but experienced a weird sensation
that felt like the baby was literally screwing his head
into my pelvis. It was the weirdest feeling…almost made
me squirm out of my chair if I was sitting down. The
next morning (Monday), my midwife came to check on me
again. I hadn’t progressed at all, maybe even was less
like a 6 and more like a five. She could tell I was
feeling discouraged and gave me a hug when she left.
Soon after, we decided to go on a walk with our kids to
an elementary school playground around the corner. It
was 9 a.m. and was probably over 90 degrees. The gate
that was closest to our house was locked, so we decided
to walk around to the other side. Brent and the kids
were ahead of me, which was fine with me because I was
walking so slow (down Shields around to the back of this
school, what a sight!). By the time they were through
playing, I could not make it home. I sat down at the
front of the school and waited for them to be finished.
I tried to walk home but could not make it. The
contractions were very close. Brent went and got the
car and came back to get me. He called my mom to come
get the kids and the midwife, who was probably
skeptical!! I don’t remember much of anything past the
walk in the blazing heat. When I got home, I lied down
on my bed on my side, which had been the position I had
the “best” (i.e. strongest and most) contractions
throughout the labor thus far. I lied as still as I
could, kept my eyes closed, focused on relaxing my body,
and endured the contractions. I visualized the opening
of the cervix and felt as though every contraction was
pulling my cervix up and open to bring that baby out. I
must have been there for hours, but I had no concept of
time. My midwife got there around noon, I think. She
must have checked my dilation during this time…I vaguely
remember feeling pleased that I was progressing towards
“10”. When I began to have the urges to push, I moved
into the pool, which was right in the next room.
Honestly, this is the first time I remember my husband
being there since he had to get the car to pick me up.
I know he was there, I was just in “the zone.” The tub
really took the edge off the pain…it was great. I
pushed as my body compelled me too with some guidance
from my midwife and her assistant. I don’t think I
pushed for long…maybe ½ an hour at the most. I remember
I could not wait to hold the baby and be done with the
labor. I remember saying “I want to hold my baby” while
pushing. When his head finally did come out, the rest
of him did not follow. After a few moments, my midwife
told me to stand up…I think she thought that gravity
might help and that we should get the baby’s head out of
the water because he was trying to breathe. When I
stood up, he still did not come out. They said I had to
get out of the tub…things were getting urgent. I had to
climb out of the tub with my baby’s head between my legs
and walk into the next room and lay down on my bed!!
Weird experience! Once on my bed, the assistant (who
was a labor and delivery nurse) was leaning on my
stomach trying to get his shoulder under my pelvic
bone. Instinctually, I tried to push her off me. I
didn’t even realize I was doing it until she told me she
had to do it. I then had a moment of clarity and
envisioned being transported to the hospital in an
ambulance with the baby’s head out, and that did not
seem like something I wanted to do. I pushed as hard as
a I could (which I thought I had already done) and he
came out. He weighed 10 lbs. 11 oz. Bigger than my c/s
baby…who everyone and their mother thought I couldn’t
get out because of his size. I proved them wrong. It
was a big accomplishment for me…although of course it is
also a lot of luck because there are no guarantees in
birth, even if you do everything according to plan. I
did feel certain at the time that if I had had Bennett
in the hospital that I would have ended up with many
interventions and possibly a c-section because of the
length of my labor. The homebirth experience was a
memorable one for both me and my husband!
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