For those of you who are venturing down this very exciting adventure for the first (or perhaps this is the not your first, but it is the first time you’ve sought out information on the subject), I am hoping to help pass along some of the great resources I have found in my many hours of research and experience on this subject. I realize I am not the most knowledgeable or experienced on this subject…At the writing of this, I am currently on my third pregnancy which will be only my second birth…but I wanted to share what I do know, and perhaps someone will benefit from it.
The below info is for people that are trying to conceive or considering trying to conceive. But obviously not every pregnancy is planned.
My advice to you, if you are wanting to conceive for the first time, is twofold:
- Educate yourself-educate yourself-educate yourself. Parenthood is the hardest job you will ever have. I know you hear this all the time…but please don’t dismiss it. And yes, parenthood is also the most rewarding job you will ever have. But it is not something one should rush blindly into, ever. Once you’re a parent, there’s no going back. Your life is changed FOREVER…so please PLEASE research this fully and never jump into it just because you have “baby fever” (which is not a reason alone to do this). Everyone wants a baby when they are cute and cooing and being happy little bundles of joy…but the flipside is equally a reality and babies cry and cry a lot (this is a survival skill given them by nature…its what they were designed to do and our job is to respond to it, by nurturing and caring.) and are very demanding and time-consuming and you need to be prepared to deal appropriately with both sides of the story.
And also, babies grow up. Its important to remember that this is the toughest job in the world, but also the most important because most everything you do with that child will be reflected in that child’s personality and life in adulthood. You are truly building the future. If you or your life is screwy already, remember that you do not have the right to screw up another’s (the child’s.) Children have the right to be born into a family that is loving and ready to care for them. That said, none of us are perfect, but educate yourself and do the best you can by obtaining the resources you need to do this, make sure you are truly ready, and no one could expect more of you. I’m not talking financially, because honestly, I wonder if any of us are ever truly ready financially…I’m talking emotionally and physically ready and prepared to deal with all that parenthood will entail. If you or your partner have any doubts, WAIT.
- Make sure both parents-to-be are fully wanting to become parents. Its not a good idea to become a parent because your partner wants to. As Dr. Phil, who I only agree with about half the time, but agree with him on this one, says: (paraphrased, can’t remember it exactly) It takes 2 “yes”‘s to have a baby…One “no” to not. If one of you does not want this, you should not be doing it now. Wait until both want it. Because yes, he or she might “come around”, but is it worth the risk if he or she doesn’t? Its not fair to that child to not have 2 willing parents. And parenthood is the hardest thing you will ever do in your life…even for those who want it with every fiber of their being, and who are prepared (as prepared as you can be)…If one of you goes into this not wanting it, that can create a nasty environment for that little one who deserves so much better than that. Now of course if you have a partner that will never want to become a parent and you do, you have a whole ‘nother dilemma. That will be something you have to decide which is more important to you…waiting to see if s/he comes around over time, or moving on. That’s a tough one.
After all that…if you and your partner are truly ready…here’s some great info for ya!